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Remote working is one of the fastest growing trends facing the modern workforce with it increasing by 90% over the past ten years. Many employees, myself included, can find the adjustment to be difficult with loneliness being one of the major factors causing stress for employees.
Approximately 43% of remote workers have feelings of isolation and loneliness when compared to 25% of office based employees. Feeling lonely can be a normal part of the work from home journey but starting a hobby, meeting up with friends or just talking about how lonely you feel can be sure fire ways to counter feelings of loneliness.
So how can you overcome feelings of loneliness and isolation when working from home? What are the major causes of loneliness when you work from home? Keep reading to find out more!
(Just a heads up a lot of people reading my blog are in the process of designing their own home office. If you want to save some of the painstaking time I did in designing my office, you can find my recommended products here)
How to deal with loneliness when working from home?
Don’t feel ashamed if you feel lonely, it’s perfectly normal with most of us experiencing at least some forms of loneliness in our lifetime.
I’ve found the following tops to be particularly useful in battling loneliness when working from home
Set up more Zoom meetings
Whilst a lot of us think we’re great at communicating, studies prove otherwise . Add in remote working this goes out the window.
One of the biggest reasons we feel isolated is we don’t get the instant face to face interaction we would usually get in an office.
Not getting facetime with your employees can be tough.
With more and more people living by themselves, it’s easy to see how the feelings of isolation can be expounded upon.
Even having something as simple as a ten to fifteen minute catch up call once per week with you colleagues will get things moving in the right direction, even if they are all online for now.
How to do this
Start by setting up a call with your colleagues that you are closest to ( I mean you can’t hate them all) pop some time aside for ten to fifteen minutes per week and then gradually increase this two to three times per week.
What would be the best option
So whilst I’m fond of using free tools like google hangouts for conferencing calls the undisputed grand daddy of video calls would be zoom which generates around 300 million participants in meeting every day.
Attempt public speaking
I know what you’re thinking, how is public speaking going to help you get over feelings of loneliness.
Well, often, when you speak publicly you will not only get out (most likely) of your house and get a chance to network. You’ll also be seen as a thought leader meaning more people will come to you about your certain topic.
Public speaking can be a great way of making friends and can definitely help nip any feelings of isolation in the bud.
On top of this it can be a great way to bolster your job prospects in the future with a lot of employers looking at oral communication as a key decision maker behind hiring employees, according to a study by ICIMS
If fear is stopping you from doing this at present consider starting with video public speaking gigs and slowly make your way up to in person meetings.
How to do this
Start with smaller virtual public speaking gigs – you can find a bunch of these on facebook groups or on Linkedin – they even have useful whats app groups giving you pointers on how to present.
Aim for 3-5 minute speeches and you will soon be giving hour long lectures whilst also getting out of the house.
What would be the best option?
There are loads of great public speaking courses out there that you can find on event bright but for my money the best programs out there are by speakup and darren lacroix who is actually an award winning public speaker.
Work remotely with a friend once per week
For a brief period in 2012 I worked with a few of my friends and can honestly say it was one of the best experiences of my life.
Believe it or not people are actually a lot more productive when they are around the people they enjoy working with , and have stronger data exchanges taking place as a result.
With flexible working becoming more popular it’s likely your friends have the ability to work remotely too so why not invite them around a few times per month.
Just make sure you set up some clear guidelines beforehand so that you and your friends don’t get distracted and see it as just a social gathering. Ensure you set up regular breaks for you both to catch up throughout the day and you will be golden. To find out more about this, check out my post on should you invite a friend to work from home together.
How to do this
Simply contact all your friends, ask them if they work remotely and if they want to work together and schedule a date. Alternatively feel free to switch the dates with your friends family member to keep things fresh over the weeks.
What would be the best option?
Ideally you would want to do this in person but if you are in a completely different part of the country then your friends or you’ve just moved you can set up a zoom call and leave it on in the background whilst you both get on with your day.
Hit the gym on your lunch break
Despite my waistline which has been slowly creeping up the past few years, getting out and getting some exercise in a park or local gym can be a great way to not only stay fresh but also help beat isolation.
Even if you go to the gym and don’t speak to anyone, the fact that you are getting out and getting some fresh air will work wonders on your mental health.
How to do this
Simply search up the local gyms in your area and pop inside on your lunch break. Start off small with compound exercises that work your entire body and gradually move up to isolation exercises.
To make things a bit more interesting and if you’ve got the funds consider personal training which really can work wonders not only on your mind but your body as well.
What would be the best option
Honestly the best option is whatever is going to keep you going, so if it means going to the gym first thing in the morning then stick with it. You might also want to keep your diet in check using something like my fitness pal to watch what you eat while you workout.
Speak to a professional
If you feel as though your loneliness is crippling your ability to do your day job and it is more severe then general loneliness you’ve been feeling then it might be time to seek some expert guidance.
Speaking to a doctor or your therapist can be one of the best things to do and often hashing things out with them will feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
What would be the best option
There is not better option then going to a trained medical professional to help you, there are also a number of great hotlines you can call if you feel as though your are battling with poor mental health, these include:
Samaritans: 116 123
Mental Helps: 1-888-993-3112
NAMI Helpline: 800-950-6264
To find out more I’ve written a post which talks about the link between depression and working from home which you can find here.
How to do this
Simply set up some time to speak with your general practitioner or house doctor, it might be worth also getting a second option with a friend or family member before you decide to speak to a doctor
Have a dedicated workspace
Having a dedicated space can help alleviate any feelings of loneliness. Often at times we feel lonely as we do not have a centralised place to work from, causes our minds to wander and so investing in a home office if possible or a small corner of your fat will help you to keep focused.
How to do this
Aim for your work space to be away from any distractions, allow a lot of light into your room and a room that can have a clear distinction between a work and home life.
Lofts and garden pods both work very well for this but a spare bedroom would also do if possible.
If you live in an apartment, instead consider taking up a corner facing away from distractions like the TV.
What would be the best option
Unsure what products to use? Check out my recommended gear page for a full list of items but I feel as though every office needs the following:
- Standing desk ( why not get some exercise in when you work from home)
- Chair
- Lighting
- Laptop
- Plants
- monitors
Consider a shared workspace
Shared workspaces although slightly pricey ( you’re looking at about $150 for a remote working space in the USA) are a great way of mixing things up.
There is often a huge stigma and taboo about sharing how isolated you actually feel, it’s one of those unspoken things and so why not go to a place where everyone feels the same?
Now as mentioned these can be a little bit on the pricey side of things but a little secret – speak to universities, they often have loads of empty lecture halls and classrooms you can work from and charge a lot less ( even free on some occasions)
Worst case scenario you can always hop on down to your local library which are always packed out with people you can bounce off of.
How to do this
Simply google shared workspace near me and you should find tons of options. It’s also worth joining facebook groups for people looking for remote work together.
What would be the best option
If you really are struggling, we work and workspace are two fantastic options that don’t necessarily break the bank. Start small to start off with a few days per month and the more comfortable you get, you can expand upon this.
Make after work plans
So you’ve just completed your task list and it’s just hit 5 – time to go for a jog? Yeah right more like time to sit in front of the TV for a few hours and just switch off.
If you’re anything like me the latter sounds more appealing but making plans that hold you accountable after work will help you battle any feelings of loneliness you feel.
Ideally you should aim to do events that will keep you accountable for example going to a gym with a personal trainer or meeting up with that one friend who won’t take no for an answer.
Doing so will get you into the habit of getting at least some human interaction and scheduling this just after you finish work doesn’t give you brain time to adjust to you being at home.
It’s such a slippery slope for this to continue on day after day.
How to do this
Simple one really, just drop your friends a message and off you go!
What would be the best option
If you’re really struggling to come up with something fun to do, have a look at Groupon which has tons of great offers to get you out of the office.
Seeing your friends after work can be one of the easiest ways to get over the feeling of isolation when working from home and is one of those things not enough of us do.
Start a new hobby
Making new friends is easier said than done, I mean we’re all grown ups here. How do you spark up a friendship to get you out of feeling loneliness when you’re out of school and college?
One of the best things to do to counter this is to start a hobby you’ve always wanted to do.
It could be anything from cake baking to martial arts but aim to do something with some form of interaction, even if this is over a zoom meeting.
Doing so will not only give you a new skill set, it will allow you to speak to like minded people about something you enjoy.
My hobby of choice as you can probably tell is blogging – if you’re interested in starting your own check out my post on how I make money through blogging.
How to do this
Make a list of everything you’ve ever wanted to try, it doesn’t matter how ludicrous it sounds and then find a place nearby that will help you do this.
What would be the best option
This is highly personal depending on your interests but once again for me, blogging is my hobby of choice and I use Income school by project 24 to teach me how to do this.
Schedule you day
For any long time readers of the blog you guys know how much I love this.
A lot of the time the reason we feel lonely is that we have too much free time to think about how lonely we are.
Now I’m not telling you to schedule your day back to back to the point where you are now stressed out but scheduling your day in an effective way that keeps you focused will work wonders on any feelings of isolation.
In my humble opinion part of the reason you can feel isolated when working from home is the amount of dead time you have. I mean, have you ever felt busy and isolated at the same time?
Human beings need a purpose and things to do and by splitting your day up into smaller project based cycles you’ll not only be way more productive, but also feel a lot more happier.
How to do this
Studies have actually shown taking shorter frequent breaks is a lot more productive for people then we had originally anticipated.
As such, the pomodoro technique is the way I like to schedule my day.
The basic idea behind it is that for every 25 minutes of work you do, you take a 5 minute break. You then repeat this for an hour and a half period.
To find out more about this you can check out the video below:
What would be the best option
Now if you don’t want to use your alarm for the pomodoro technique you can download a specific app like Flora which does the job and keeps it fun at the same time ( it even has a picture of a tree!)
Vary your communication channels
Human beings are creatures of habit. We love to do the same thing over and over again and yet we get frustrated when we do.
Let’s face it, if you’re socialising with your colleagues via email or slack only after a while this can get staler than a loaf of bread that’s been out for 6 weeks.
All of which can add to feelings of frustration and loneliness when working from home.
For example, Instead of having one to one calls invest in conference calls, small things like this will help keep things fresh every day. Variety is the spice of life and then the same goes for your communication channels.
Anyone who has ever had a really deep conversation on the phone with anyone else knows what a good phone call can definitely change your mood so consider switching up your options.
How to do this
If you take the leads on multiple meetings for the week, change one of them up every week to a different communication channel, if you don’t take the lead suggest it to your boss and make a case for why it’s a good idea.
What would be the best option
As always I would recommend Zoom but look into other cool platforms like slack or Microsoft teams which have other functionality to keep things fun.
Don’t just catch up about work
This is something I have to really take my own advice on. I’m very much a business first social life later type of person but this can really have a huge impact on isolation.
It’s super tempting when you do have hangout or zoom meetings to just spend the entire time talking about work stuff.
Whilst separating your personal life and work life are good things to do to be open to catching up with your colleagues about their interests.
Why not use the opportunity to get to know the person better, understand what your colleagues like and get to connect with the theme on a human level? You might find that you have more in common then you think!
How to do this
Best thing I would recommend for this would be to spend the first 5 mins of any conference call just catching up with your colleagues trying to get to know them a bit better. Once you have a level of comfort with them you can set up some time to just catch up about stuff completely non-work related and take things from there.
What would be the best option
Ideally in person but if not possible, zoom is always your friend.
Make time for lunch break with your colleagues
Catching up with your colleagues over lunch is another way to tell loneliness to go and shove it.
A lot of the time we get frustrated just because we’re not taking any breaks, pair this up with being by yourself and your mind will start to wander.
Ensure at least one per week you catch up over lunch – there is an importance of catching up and eating together so ensure you do it too!
How to do this
This is something that you need to take the initiative on. People will likely want to do the same when working remotely but often not take the first step so set up a hangout or Xoom meeting for a 30 minutes (not everyone wants to spend their whole hour with other people) and then take things from there
What would be the best option
Again, the best option would be using zoom or if possible, to meet up in person for lunch at least once per week.
Consider, but don’t rely on social media
Social media is a double edged sword.
Whilst it can do a great job of connecting people both friends and strangers alike around similar interested it can also be incredibly dangerous leading to depression and increased isolation
As you can tell, this was one that I was struggling to put on the list but I decided to put it here.
My idea for social media is a little bit different.
How to do this
When using social media only spend about 5-10 minutes on it with your own friends/scrolling. Instead use social media in a productive way to focus on your hobby.
Into Brazilian jujitsu? Start a YouTube channel! Want to connect with people about being a single mom? Set up a Facebook group or Instagram page.
By doing this you’re starting a conversation instead of just passively scrolling which is likely to do more harm than good.
What would be the best option
My suggestion would be to go down the YouTube spot, however I get that is not for everyone.
Attend networking events
Networking events can be a great way of getting out of the house and also building your career up at the same time.
Networking has been a staple of my career pretty much since I got out of university and can be a great way to just socialise with people and understand more about your industry/hobbies. Getting rid of any feelings of loneliness or isolation in the process.
You’ll be surprised at the number of events there are around areas you are interested in.
If your still nervous about attending networking events keep it simple,
Instead of pitching to people, try to just have a conversation, ask people what they do for a living and just generally catch up. A lot of people might come across as bad salespeople, by having a chat and genuinely getting to know people, you will definitely stick out.
Networking events don’t have to be work related either, into superheros, why not attend your local comic con, it’s likely you going to contribute if you enjoy the topic that everyone is talking about.
How to do this
Start by attending networking events for once a month and state that you will stay for about 30 minutes, you can then gradually increase this as you become more and more confident. You might find that you see the same people again and again at these events.
What would be the best option
Personally I feel as though free networking events are the best option, simply search networking events and your city and you will be presented with a host of options!
Networking events can be one of the easiest ways to get ahead in your career when you work remotely
Consider your EAP programme
So for those of you unfamiliar with the HR landscape you might be asking, Fehed, what the hell is an EAP.
Simply put, an EAP package is an employee assistance programme. Employers usually set these up for their employees to talk confidentially about issues they are facing. These are usually done over the phone but can end up taking the form of meeting either in person or online too.
Sadly, due to our locations, our job or external circumstances we are not able to leave our homes during the work day.
Some of us are even lucky to have close friends and family nearby but in case you don’t speak to a professional over the phone through an ERP system can be a great way of getting time in with an actual person.
They are great ways of just destressing, getting a bit of human interaction and just catching up with another person every once in a while.
It’s worth making a note beforehand of everything you want to discuss and then take things from there.
How to do this
So more often than not, EAPs are provided by their employers and so they will need to be the ones to implement this.
If you do work in the HR space, the good news is that there are a ton of good quality benefits and wellbeing providers out there who have EAP programmes in place.
Now once you have a provider in place, simply contact them discreetly, usually through a free phone option and just have a chat for maybe 20 minutes every week to catch up.
The person on the other end is likely to offer up a few options such as therapy, CBT to help
What would be the best option
So I’m going to be a little bit biased but Reward Gateway who are a benefits provider have a great EAP provider in house
Work from your local coffee spot
Another great way to socialise is just to work from your local coffee store or outside your home office
A lot of us feel restricted to work from home, a shared workspace or some place quiet like a library, instead why don’t you consider opting in for something like a coffee shop, park or landmark.
Simply tether your phone and you’re good to go.
More often than not, like we discussed earlier, it’s not the workplace you miss, It’s more the human interaction
How to do this
Start off with one day every 3 weeks working from a coffee shop for a few hours and then slowly increase this over time.
You will also want to do tasks which are relatively straightforward to start off with that won’t distract others. Sorry super busy sales guys, making 50 cold calls from a coffee shop isn’t really going to be the best option!
What would be the best option
Whilst any cosy coffee shop will do I would recommend to try and stay local as you will get much more of a community feel to it.
Start a hobby in work
Whilst starting a hobby for yourself can be a fantastic way to counter feelings of loneliness why not do something together as a team.
Often it won’t just be you who is working from home so why not look into options like fantasy football or a weekly run you can do together over zoom to get the team spirit going.
This should help build bonds amongst your team despite being based all over the world.
How to do this
Do a quick survey to ask your team what they enjoy, do something that everyone can do ( not everyone drinks) and then start from there, you never know You might have a brand new hobby from them then onwards.
What would be the best option
You can’t go wrong with a quiz,you can start with general knowledge or movies but then make it fun by setting up a quiz about your colleagues. Now if you’re interested in starting something like a side hustle I would definitely recommend Income school which is a great offering. Check them out here.
Maintain your work life balance
Easier said than done right?
One of the major misconceptions people have about working remotely is that you will actually work less. Whilst this is true in the first instance it gradually creeps up on you. Before you know it you might find your working late into the night or even working on weekends.
How to do this
Schedule your day using a calendar, build a routine and make sure you finish when your working hours finish. If you are only scheduled to work till 5, put in an activity for 5.30 so you have to stop. Your work is always going to be there, you will never have 100% of your work done so learn to be okay with that and take time for yourself.
What would be the best option
Set an alarm on your phone when your work day and., If you have a work laptop, keep it out of sight until the next day. Invest in focus meditation apps if you really are struggling to keep your mind at ease.
Actively ask yourself how many hours you put into work when you work remotely, it’s likely a lot more than your contracted to do.
Journal how you feel
Without tracking when you feel lonely it will be almost impossible to come up with a solution to the problem.
One of the great things about journaling is pattern recognition. If you feel isolated on a particular day every week you might think that it is just the norm.
Journaling helps you recognise these patterns and can help you understand what external forces can cause you to feel more isolated than usual.
Whilst it might sound very new age it definitely works and you can plan your days a little better.
How to do this
Get an idea of what your day might look like a week in advance or how many tasks you have to do and then take it from there. In the morning write down 3 tasks you want to have accomplished and reflect if they were achieved at the end of the day.
At the end of the day give yourself a grade an a scale of 1-10 and reflect on these figures once per month
What would be the best option
Once again this journal from amazon has to be my recommendation.
Learn how to speak up
Finally, and this one might be a little controversial so bare with me, learn to speak up. At the end of the day your boss/team/wider people you connect with won’t know that you’re struggling until you let them know.
Although it might be embarrassing you need to learn to approach them when you are struggling. It’s not their responsibility to check in with you and often you will need to be the one who makes the first step.
Luckily by following along with some of the steps highlighted here you should be setting yourself up for success.
What’s the correlations between loneliness and people who work remotely
So we’ve covered quite a bit in this post today, so I wanted to pull together a graph from Buffer showing the correlation between the number of people who work remotely as well as the number of people who see themselves as lonely. As you can see it’s quite high.
The good news however is that this means you are not alone, and by following some of the steps we laid out earlier, we can get you in a better place.
Why do people feel lonely when working from home?
Loss of human interaction is the biggest reason why people feel lonely when working from home. Remote workers often have a worse off work/life balance and are usually at home when their loved ones friends and family are at work, heightening feelings of isolation and loneliness.
What are the problems with being lonely when you work from home?
Loneliness and isolation can have several long term implications for remote workers including but not limited to:
- Increased usage of substances like alcohol and drugs
- Altered brain function
- Poorer performance on basic tasks
- Cardiovascular disease and strokes
- Poor decision making
- Poor mental health
- Depression
All of which can severely impact your ability to do your job when working from home.
Studies on loneliness when working working from home
There are quite a few studies of loneliness that would definitely be worth checking out that I’ve summarized below:
|
Study |
Findings |
| Mcphearson et al | The number of people in the US with no close friends has tripled since 1985 |
| Cacioppo, et al | Social networks can cause loneliness to spread rapidly. |
| Hawkley et al | Loneliness can lead to increased mortality and poorer sleep quality |
| Campaign to end loneliness | 45% of adults feel sometimes or often lonely |
| Harvard University | Loneliness can reduce lifespan by as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day |
Lonely working from home
Now there are a lot of steps and recommendations in this post but I just wanted to finish off with a few books that I have found useful on loneliness, both the four hour work week and work energy I’ve both found helped me get out of a rut, you can read up more information on them here.
Finally a lot of people reading my blog want to know what products I recommend for a home office/remote working. You can find out my recommendations here and learn how I make money whilst working remotely on the side here.
Speaking of which, if your interested in setting up your home office you might want to check out the following posts I wrote:
- Where should I put my home office?
- 30 benefits of having a home office
- Hidden costs of a home office
The content on this site has been written by Fehed Nicass who has over a decades worth of experience in sales and has worked remotely for the past 2 years.